Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Good Mom Bad Mom

Last week I had one of those good mom days. It was the kind of day where baby Jonas and I were clicking. We were working in rhythm. I was prepared for whatever might arise- feeding, changing, snuggle time, tummy time, you name it.

For example, during a visit to my doctor, Jonas started to fuss just as they were bringing me back to the exam room, but it was okay. I had all the fixings for formula and figured I could feed him while waiting for the doctor to come in.

Upon hearing his fussing, the nurse asked me if I needed to nurse. Now you have to understand, I'm not one to breastfeed in public. I have enough trouble doing so at home with my family present even though I have a cover for just that purpose.

Anyhow, that day when the nurse asked, I decided to go for it. It was a doctor's office after all. Nothing they haven't seen before. Once back in the exam room, while the nurse asked me questions with her back turned to me, I breastfed my baby like a pro.

It was an I-rock-at-mommyhood kind of day.

Fast forward to this week. Jonas has been fussy the last few days and sleeping only in short stretches, all of which translates to my being fussy and not sleeping well. We've both been cranky.

Because of that crankiness, on Monday I snapped at my stepson after school over nothing important. Badly. He took it in stride and graciously accepted my apology later.

Bad mom.

Yesterday after one of Jonas' feedings, I finally remembered to consult the infant feeding chart as my husband has asked me to do for a couple of weeks. As it turns out I haven't been feeding Jonas properly for his age.

He is supposed to be eating twice as much per serving in half as many feedings. I've still had him on the eat small and often plan prescribed for the first month. Meanwhile he was supposed to have graduated to bigger and fewer feedings. No wonder he has been fussy and waking up so quickly. The poor little guy has probably been hungry!

Bad mom!

Today is a better day. We are working on bigger feedings and Jonas has been happy for most of the day. Maybe today will turn out to be a good mom day. We'll just have to wait and see.

I knew going in that I wouldn't be a perfect mother. I knew I wouldn't have all the answers. I'm just happy I have good mom days to balance out the bad ones.

1 comment:

  1. I don't have children yet, but I think you're doing fine. You don't have to be perfect. You care and think about it. That's the most important thing in my opinion.

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