Monday, November 19, 2012
My home perpetually feels like it's in shambles. There are always projects partway done, items left out on every flat surface, and even if I just swept the floor, it will have debris on it when I come back from putting the broom away. Is it procreating or something?
Sometimes the level of chaos is tolerable. Sometimes it isn't.
This weekend it wasn't. And so began some work: fixing the leaky toilet, putting the wall trim back on (which we hadn't done since finishing the wood floors a few months ago), making room in the kitchen cabinets to take stuff off the counters, throwing out random crap. You know, the lingering kind of projects.
It's just that when enough things get out of control, home starts to feel stifling, hostile even. It's hard to live harmoniously and peacefully in a house that is in disarray.
Today I still feel tense and unfocused.
There is still so much to be fixed, cleaned, and cleared. I just wish I could walk around the house crossing my arms and blinking I-Dream-of-Jeannie style and make it all better. (Don't we all?)
But I know it will get better. We are making progress. For now my plan is to continue focusing on what I can do right now that will make the most impact on my sanity, like moving that stack of boxes out of the corner.
The funny thing is, you might think I was worried about Thanksgiving guests seeing my house. I'm not. We only have a few guests coming, all family, and they see my house on a regular basis. I'm not worried about making any kind of impression on them.
It's just that I'm feeling uncomfortable in my own home. I hate that. I believe home should have a sense of calm. A sense of "sit here and rest for a bit." (Okay, moms definitely have trouble in this area, but let's make it happen, people!)
What do you think? Does the state of your home impact your mood?