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Showing posts from April, 2015

I wish the world was what I thought before I knew what I still don't understand now

I am priviliged. I didn’t know that when I was growing up. I thought the kids who were buying their clothes from The Gap were priviliged; not me with my Goodwill finds and Kmart specials. But I was priviliged even then.

As a child I understood racism to be a thing of the past. How perfectly normal that I had friends of all different ethnicities, that we all went to school together. Skin color was simply a descriptive feature: black, white, Korean… like hair color--black, brown, or blonde. I didn’t understand the stories of slavery in history class or why segregation had existed in my parents’ time. It was an absurdity. Practically a folk tale. How could that have been real, I wondered. I’m glad people figured it out, I thought.

But more and more I realize it isn’t all figured out. There is so much hurt and anger that I don’t realize from where I stand. The news stories that keep popping up around the country confuse me. There really isn’t another way to say it. I’m confused. I’m confuse…

Why is slowing down so hard?

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[caption id="attachment_3644" align="alignnone" width="500"] from the Love Your True Colors Oracle Deck by Outiart[/caption]

As I do most mornings, I began today by drawing an oracle card. Today’s message was “Slow Down.” I scoffed. Not that it isn’t a good message. It absolutely is.

However, today time was on my side. I had a lot to do and plenty of time to do it. Then a weird thing happened.

My first stop was to drop by the preschool’s office. While there I was asked to hold on while a phone call was answered. The longer the phone call went on, the more antsy I got. My mind raced with, I have things to do! Places to go! This was just a quick stop.

After that was a trip to the dry cleaner during which I got a phone call. Then I sat in the parking lot waiting to wrap up the call before going in. Things to do! Places to go! Quick stop!

This pattern repeated as I stopped at the cafe for a half hour of writing that I scheduled for myself (another phone call), the…

Flecks #31

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It has been a while since I've written a flecks post. Mostly because I used to write these weekly, but lately my blogging has become less frequent, so I didn't want all of my posts to be flecks.

What do I mean by flecks? Flecks of reflection from the week: what I'm learning and celebrating. Have I repeated the word enough to make it lose meaning? Probably.

Here we go...
Things I learned this week:

Having a team supports growth and progress. I don't mean a paid team that helps accomplish work (though I'm sure that is wonderful, too). I mean having people that cheer you on and ask questions to help you understand yourself and remind you who you are when you get lost. This is so valuable. This week, I specifically want to thank Sara, Alina, Elora, and Ginny. Thank you so much for being part of my team.
Flowers make the kitchen feel more inviting. Even $4.99 flowers from the grocery store.
A clean kitchen makes the whole house feel better.
Weather affects mood. We have had so…

About My Love of Self Improvement

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If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bookstore.
A friend shared this with me on Facebook last week and I loved it. Because it's true. Well, not literally walking a mile because there is nothing that close to where I live, but metaphorically speaking, if you follow me, you will find yourself at the bookstore. I love the bookstore.

Once at the bookstore, you may see me scanning all sorts of aisles--general fiction, mystery, memoir, new age, gardening, nature, art, photography, journals, bargain books. Ultimately, however, you will find me in self improvement. This is where I will linger. I may even sit on the floor while I peruse a few options. It is my favorite section.

I have read a lot of books from this section and seeing them on the shelves with all sorts of unread potential treasures beside them is both comforting and exciting. It's like visiting old friends who are inviting me to meet new friends, except I don't have to think of something witty to say…

My Marriage is Doomed and Other Lessons from Gretchen Rubin's Talk

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[caption id="attachment_3615" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo credit: Amy Pinard Photography[/caption]

I have realized a problem with my marriage. Yep. While seeing one of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin, speak the other night, I learned a possible reason for why my husband and I drive each other crazy in certain cases.

It comes down to this: I am an Upholder and he, I'm fairly certain, is a Rebel. These are two of the four habits categories Gretchen has identified in her latest book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives. And according to her, it is rare that Upholders and Rebels work together.

Doomed. (Sorry, you had to find out this way, sweetums.)

Here's how the categories break down. It all has to do with how you meet expectations.

Upholders meet both their own and others' expectations.
Obligers meet others' expectations, but have trouble meeting their own.
Questioners meet their own expectations, but questio…