Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Do you ever feel like you're in between? Maybe in between an old job and a new one. Or in the middle of a transformation. Whatever it is, you are no longer in that old place, but you aren't yet settled in the new place either.
That's where I am. I'm in the middle of something. A lot of things, really. I have a house to sell and a house to build and somewhere unknown to go in the meantime. I have a teen who is graduating high school, then headed to college in a few months. I have some work that I am doing and some work that I am moving toward.
There are a lot of things up in the air and I don't know quite when, where, or how they will land. It's a bit unsettling. And I kind of like to be settled.
I don't mind change, but I prefer to finish the old thing and step into the new thing full force. And right now, that just isn't possible. Right now I have to embrace this odd, messy middle place.
Sure, I've heard the old saying that it's not the destination that matters, rather the journey. But I struggle with the journey.
So this is a practice for me. A practice in recognizing where I am today and trying to be okay with not knowing where I will be tomorrow.
Here is what I know today: It is warm outside. Cherries, grapes, plums, peaches, and apples are growing in our backyard. I have a roof over my head. I am loved.
The rest will fall into place.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
"I realized that my story was not a factual collection of words describing my life. My story was a heavy anchor I was dragging behind me while trying to catch the wind in my sails." ~Heatherash Amara in Warrior Goddess Training
What's your story? You know the one. It makes you uncomfortable, makes you doubt yourself, doubt your worth even. The one that you keep telling yourself even though it pains you to hear it.
Maybe you try to keep this story a secret from other people. Maybe you tell it to other people as an example of why you can't be, do, or have something.
It might start off with "I can't because..." or "Even when I was kid..." or "Nothing I do will matter because...."
It might be about your childhood or your first marriage or last year. Whatever it is, it's holding you back. So let's try something. Let's try rewriting that story.
First, let's strip that story down. Just the facts. "X happened." Forget the "which made me feel..." part. What exactly happened? Encyclopedia version. Who? What? Where? When? Forget "why?" if you need to. Why can be subjective.
So X happened. Then what?
What did you take away from that? What did you learn? What have you done since then? What will you do now?
Rewrite that story. If you can reframe it in a way that you feel gratitude, excellent! If you don't feel gratitude, so what? That's okay. You don't have to feel grateful for everything ever. But maybe you can feel less upset. Maybe you can see that story as a factual part of your life, rather than an anchor weighing you down.
"Transformation starts with how we use our words--how we speak our story to ourselves and others." ~Heatherash Amara in Warrior Goddess Training
How will you tell your story?
Sunday, May 10, 2015
I also honor all of you who are mothers, stepmothers, adoptive mothers, birth mothers who gave their children to adoptive mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, godmothers, and those who desperately want to be mothers.
For all the things you do on a daily basis to keep your family running, for the support you give, for the hugs and kisses, and for the discipline you painstakingly bestow... thank you.
For your patience, time, love, and selflessness... thank you.
For the moments you showed perfect motherhood and all the times you didn't but kept trying anyway... thank you.
For all the times you've held it together and all the times you lost it... thank you.
Thank you because you show up. Every day. Rain or shine. Sickness or health. In all your imperfect glory (because mine is most certainly imperfect).
Happy Mother's Day!
Friday, May 8, 2015
As in flecks of reflection from the week: what I'm learning and celebrating. Here we go...
Things I learned this week:
- Taking a few hours to do something that you want to do solely because you want to do it refreshes your soul's well exponentially. I make a point to do this every year for my birthday (but wouldn't it beneficial to do so several times per year--maybe once per quarter). This year I went to Bowman's Hill Wildflower Preserve where I wandered trails by myself, photographed nature, and paused to soak up the sounds of trickling creek water. The effect lasted for days.
- If you get flats of flowers, you should really plant them that day or the next. Not on days three and four when they are wilting and drying and need to be revived. Just keep them happy from the start. (Hmmm... that's probably a good lesson for lots of things in life.)
Things I'm celebrating this week:
- My birthday!
- Taking time for myself.
- Planting flowers.
- Playing outside.
Things that are resonating with me:
the problem with you is me by Karen Maezen Miller wherein she says...
Leaving no trace is a practice that goes on well after you clean your shoes, brush your teeth, and wash a lifetime of coffee cups. No trace is aimed at getting rid of all the petty offenses, inconveniences, and problems in your life: namely, you. Or should I say, me.
Guilt-free Diet by Sadie Rose Casey on Annapurna Living because sometimes you need to get messy in the kitchen with whatever makes it easy to revel in delicious experience.
Today I will bake a cake.
It will not be gluten-free or grain-free. It will not be made with substitution flours – legumes or nuts posing imperfectly as wheat. It will not have coconut in it unless the frosting has shredded pieces of coconut flesh mixed into it.
What did you learn this week? What are you celebrating? Leave a comment and I'll share a "Woohoo!"
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