Tuesday, July 21, 2015

A Tale of Starting the Day Over

startthedayover

Some days breeze by. Everything flows easily. You are giving. You are receiving. Things get done. Family gets cuddled. Ideas abound. Life is a beautiful journey and you sparkle with the magic of it all.

Some days are heavy. Everything feels like a slog. You don't know if you can give. Things need to get done, but you want to hide from it all. The beautiful journey and all of its hope from yesterday feels like wishful thinking.

The schedule you had imagined for today--wake at 6:30, shower, start your day, wake your child at 7:30, start his day--goes out the window when he arrives in your room bright-eyed and bushy tailed at 6:00 a.m.

You haven't gotten out of bed yet, and the schedule is already ruined.

Instead of hiding, you try to start over. You shower. Grumpily. You dress your child. Briskly. He's smiling. He's chattering away as if it's the best day ever. Because maybe it is.

You start to think maybe the schedule isn't totally blown. In fact, since the little one is now dressed and ready to go earlier than normal, you have time to water the community garden before you drop him off with the sitter, thereby freeing time after.

So you drive to the garden. Pulling the hose from flower box to vegetable bed. Everything is blooming. Eggplant purples in every shade. Tomatoes from green to red. Squash just barely yellow.

collage-wildflowers

Then you see the wildflowers. The patch where many months ago you and other beautiful women gathered in a circle tossing seeds. The patch where you all remembered and gave thanks. That once barren patch is bursting with life now.

This day can be saved. It has been saved. Because you and the wildflower patch aren't much different.

With renewed energy, you snuggle your son who eagerly helped you water every last plant. You drop him at the sitter's and decide there is enough time after all.

Enough time to grab milk and cereal for the hungry teenagers who will be waking from their sleepover soon. You get fruit, drinks, sandwich fixings for lunch. Everything you might need to get through the day regardless of how many may or may not stick around.

As you drive home you realize how grumpy you were. How grumpy you aren't anymore. You started fresh. This day can be saved. It has been saved. There is still plenty of time to do all that needs to be done.

Then you realize you forgot the milk.

You may have to start over a few more times today.

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