Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2016

How My Word of the Year Helped Me Ignite My Life

Every year I choose a word to set an intention for that year. I don’t often set resolutions, but when I first heard about the idea of a word for the year, I grasped the idea and ran with it. Some of my previous words include shine, focus, joy, and badass.

This year my word was IGNITE. I chose this word because I wanted to get this new chapter of my life (as a newly single mom) started. I wanted to spark my fire, and I believe I succeeded.

During the course of this year, I have set out to meet new people, find new hobbies, and rekindle my enthusiasm for old hobbies. I wanted to find the elements that were fully me with no external input -- the activities, ideas, and habits that were true for me.

Meetup was a huge help in finding activities and people to do them with. Through Meetup, I joined a monthly book club, which is something that I really missed from my previous locale. I love this group of people and, regardless of whether I liked the book, I always look forward to great conversati…

Be Still: a poem

Stop.
Really. Just stop.
You don’t have to run all the time.
You don’t have to always be doing.
You don’t have to go, go, go.
You don’t have to scroll through your Facebook feed.
Again.
It is OK to do nothing.
Be still.
Really. Just be still.
For it is in the still that knowing comes.
It is in the still that healing happens.
It is in the still.
And still, we run.

My Future is Up to Me (and yours is up to you)

I had a realization one morning. I was going about my usual morning routine to get ready for work, thinking about my home, my bills, and the now of life, which led to thinking about my retirement and wondering how I will save enough to support myself through the future. (My thoughts tend to snowball.) After all, as a divorced mom, the future is up to me.

There are not two incomes to support the now and the future. There is one. Mine. And it must do both: the now and the future. Is it enough? Which tends to lead to the more difficult question: Am I enough?

Let that sink in. Am I – on my own – enough? This is a question a lot of us ask ourselves, I'm sure.

The answer now comes out of necessity. Yes, I am enough. I have to be enough. Because that is what I have to work with.

I could ignore it, pretend the future will be just fine without me having to think about it, but we all know that isn’t the case. I need to actively plan for it, actively take care of myself and my son.

This is how I …

Faith and Existence

Faith is a difficult thing. We are taught in school that theories need proof. We need to be able to support our arguments with hard facts and scientific data. And finding information is easier than ever, thanks to the internet -- unlike the days of my school reports, which required a library visit and rifling through a card catalog in hopes of finding something related to my topic.

Yet, we are still asked to have faith. To trust abundance. To surrender. To believe in a divine plan or miracles or the law of attraction or God.

This universe is a magical and scientific place. Sometimes it’s hard to trust what we cannot see for ourselves.

My friend Kristin wrote a post that resonated so deeply with me. It’s called I’m an ego driven skeptic and she begins, “My name is Kristin and I basically doubt everything.”

It’s definitely worth reading, so hop on over there. These are the words that I read over and over:
“I don’t usually believe in myself and I know I exist. I don’t have faith in myself, an…

I Am Not Colorblind

I grew up in a place that I am realizing is somewhat of an anomaly. I grew up in schools where kids were white, black, Middle Eastern, Korean, Chinese, Hispanic, biracial. My friends, neighbors, and classmates practiced a variety of religions, or no religion at all. I had babysitters who were white, who were black, who were deaf.

Normal to me was that there was no normal. Everyone was different, everyone had a story, and it was worth learning as many stories as I could.

Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.

My mother sang that to me when I was little, and I knew that it was true because I could see so many colors and lifestyles around me.

As an adult, and especially now that I’ve moved around and seen other communities, I’ve realized my childhood was perhaps a bit different than what many people experience.

The gut-wrenching news stories we keep hearing prove we have a long way to go toward peace and justice. The racism and religious animosity that I “knew” were …

Act Loving to Feel Loving

Sometimes I read things that are so… tough and important and consciousness-raising. I don’t necessarily have anything to add. The author’s words are enough on their own.

This post from Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery is one of those posts: Life is Hard But They are Brave.

Please go read it. But, if you don’t have time right now, at least read this…
“My friend stopped by five hours after I started this love project and she said: lord. You are so loving to do this for them. And I said No, no, no. I don’t do these crazy things because I’m loving. I’m loving because I do these crazy things. Love is not a feeling. Love is the result of hours and days and years of using your hands and heart and mind to show up in a million different ways for other people. We don’t wait to act until we feel loving — we act so that we will feel loving. You don’t wait for love – you create it.”
…and this…
“The quote is from a mother who wrote four hearts and then the words: I ache. The hearts on this poster symbo…

LGBTQ Issues in Health Care

I am a copy editor with a medical news publisher. In a short time, I have learned a lot of new terms and style preferences, and a little bit more about medical developments.

Why am I telling you this? One of the articles I worked on really got me thinking. Although it was written for a physician and medical professional audience, it’s worth all of us non-medical folk reading.

‘Negative experiences,’ lack of research impede cancer care in LGBTQ community opened my eyes to issues that had never before occurred to me.

For example, did you know that some medical conditions can go unnoticed or untreated if a person doesn’t disclose their sexual preference or their gender identity? If a physician operates under assumptions about the patient (say, assuming the married patient is wed to someone of the opposite sex), he or she may not ask certain questions or recommend particular tests, thinking they don’t apply, when, in fact, they might be important.

Some patients may not disclose they are part …

This is the Part Where I Start Breaking the (Blogging) Rules

When I first started blogging, I did so on a whim. I’d heard of Blogger and knew I could start a blog for free, so I did. I simply wanted to learn about it, and I learn best by trying.

Of course, once I had a blog, I figured I should actually post stuff. (That’s kind of the point, after all.) So I did. I posted about things I’d found interesting from around the Internet, in books, or in magazines. I shared a few experiences, particularly related to the online world. It was just plain fun.

Somewhere along the line, blogging became something else. All of the bloggers out there were adding advertisers and sponsored posts. People started touting the need to monetize a blog (why have one if it’s not making money or building clientele, they’d say). Blogs, like many things, became a business.

Suddenly, there were rules. Every blog should have a niche—a recognizable theme. Not just that, post titles need to be attention-getting. And you should post on a regular schedule—5 posts… no, 3… 1 is prob…

Stripped

A new chapter of my life is unfolding. It has been for quite a while now. It began with an uncoupling and a new home in a new town. With that came the desire for new friendships, and the question of where a woman in her late 30s finds other women to befriend.

The all-consuming question has been this: Who am I now? Now that I have no one to worry about but myself and my son. How do I spend my time? How do I keep us physically, emotionally, and financially secure? What does this life look like?

As I peel back layers and pare down possessions, I consider carefully what is me? What is me in this moment? What is part of the enduring me?

This is a time of exploration, and I the reluctant explorer.

I have lost some things: a live-in partner, a former book club, security, and predictability.

Then there is the new. I have become a Hospice volunteer. I have become a Reiki Master/Teacher. I have joined a local book club. I have started a new full-time job—my first in 6 years. I have been embraced by …

Give a Girl a Journal

Journaling has been a part of my life since I was a child. It's one of my happy places. So when Jamie from Jamie Ridler Studios asked me if I might make a video to talk about journaling for her new project, I agreed.

What is Jamie's new project? Genius, if you ask me. She calls it Give a Girl a Journal and it does exactly what it sounds like. Knowing how transformative a journal practice is, she wants to make sure every girl has the opportunity to have one.

To get involved, go to www.giveagirlajournal.com. You can nominate a girl to receive a journal or you can donate $20 to have a journaling care package sent to the next girl on the list.

This is such a fun concept that is also so meaningful for the girls on the receiving end.

So, what does journaling mean to me? Find out in my video...

https://youtu.be/vzk3e_bWipg

Not Bad Parents, 5 Years and Counting

When you have a baby, everyone tells you to enjoy every little moment because it goes by so fast. (EVERYONE. Strangers in the grocery store will tell you.) Glennon’s response is more realistic. But people mean well when they tell you this.

Sometimes it does go by fast, and sometimes it passes more slowly, for better or worse. Gretchen also has it right when she says, "The days are long, but the years are short."

And it’s true. Today my boy turns 5. That’s huge. (Anybody remember when Rudy turned 5? “Yay, five!”)

He’s big enough now to have opinions, so a few weeks ago his dad and I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday. Every year we have kept it simple with a meal of his favorite foods, shared with family. When we asked the question last year, he said he wanted spaghetti at home. When pressed with, “What else?” he replied “Watermelon. And cucumbers.” Easy.

This year when we asked, he spoke happily about his Paw Patrol cake from last year and said that he would like a …